Image Credits: Jeffery’s Jam

So…finishing the 30 day writing challenge from May in June…probably not happening. I suck, I’m sorry…but at least I’m still trying, right?

I left off on day 23 which tells me to write about a family member I dislike. I feel like that is just asking for trouble though, so I’d rather not complete that one. Plus, the bible tell us in 1 John 2:9 “Whoever says he is in the light and hates his brother is still in darkness.”  I may not be close with most of my extended family, but I’m trying my best not to “hate” or even “dislike” them even though I may not agree with many of their decisions.

So anyway, moving alone to day 24: Write About Something You Miss

This reminds me SO much of Holden Caulfield! We both have one big thing in common that I think in many ways defines who we are as people and it may just be why I’m so obsessed with him and why I feel so connected to his character…

We both miss our childhoods.

Throughout The Catcher in the Rye, Holden constantly reflects on his childhood and spends so much time longing for his past. It’s seen at the end when he watches the carousel, it’s seen with the way he wants to catch kids in the field of rye so as to save them and their innocence and their childhood, it’s seen with the way he idolizes Phoebe and misses Allie. It’s seen all throughout the novel.

I am much the same. I miss the simplicities of my childhood. I miss all of the things I used to do. I remember when following the law and going to school for free for 7 or 8 hours a day 5 times a week seemed like torture. Now,  I long for those days. I miss all of the classes and the lessons I learned. I miss my teachers and my classmates. I miss being a part of the school newspaper, yearbook club, Interact, etc. I miss how easy it was to fill up your time and to make friends with people. Now, it seems like it’s impossible to have free time to do things I enjoy and to make friends.

I miss playing sports. I miss all of the teams I played on — basketball, track, tennis, field hockey, soccer, etc. I miss having a basketball net in my backyard along with a trampoline which was later replaced with a screenhouse and a badminton set. I miss when my sister and I were best friends and nothing bad happened to come between us ever and things with us were never weird. I miss riding my bike in Pitman down that ramp by the abandoned bank.

I miss when the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me was being betrayed by my “best friend” who told the entire school I had a crush on someone and then tried everything she could to embarrass me.

I miss all of those little weird things I used to do like dying my hair blue, wearing black lipsticks and spikes and bike chains and declaring myself “punk”, “emo”, and “goth” all at once. I miss how free that all made me feel.

I miss the summers I spent with my childhood best friend on my front porch in Pitman playing cards, eating ice cream, and arguing about who the best American Idol contestants were.

I miss not having to pay bills, having no real responsibilities in life.

I miss my grandparents and how I used to spend all of my time outside of school with them. I miss being able to tell them every little detail about my life.

Yes, I miss my childhood. I miss being a kid. My childhood was so much more than just being a kid. It was the older version of myself – my former self, whom I still have bits and pieces of, but will never have the entirety of because it has been sucked up by my adult life.

I wish I could back in time and hold on to my childhood, just for a second longer. I’m sure I’d appreciate it more than I did back then. Just like I know Holden would, too.