Hey guys! Late night post tonight. It was a big day! It was my last day working for Becker’s School Supplies and my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary so I was kind of tied up for most of the day. But I’m off tomorrow (other than needing to get a vaccine for my new job) and have a bit of time right now to write. I am on day 19 of the 30 day writing challenge which instructs me to write about my top 5 fears. Here we go (not in any particular order):
1. Failure. This one probably takes the cake for being my top fear. I have really bad anxiety from time to time. I am terrified of failure. I don’t want to let the people in my life down and disappoint anyone. I don’t want to fail in life. I fear ending up alone, never having kids, never making a name for myself, never finding happiness, ruining my life, and just simply failing at life.
2. Worms. I HATE worms! They are so creepy. They are slimy, gross, dirty an just outright creepy. If you chop its head off, it just grows back. I’m pretty sure they don’t have eyes or anything. How are these things even alive? Once when I was a kid my sister gathered a bucket full of worms and dumped them all down my shirt. I still haven’t forgiven her for that. I don’t think I ever will.
3. Heights. I don’t do heights except for roller coasters. I really love roller coasters including Kingda Ka.The thing is with roller coasters I am strapped into a harness and I can’t move or go anywhere so I don’t worry about falling and dying. I really get freaked out by heights when I’m high up in an open space. I don’t do balconies. I don’t do nosebleed seats at concerts or sporting events. I get uncomfortable being too close to the stairs/ledge at the second floor of the mall. I’m always afraid I’m going to fall and die.
4. Ferris Wheels. I’ll gladly ride any roller coaster you ask me to. The higher the speed, the more twists and turns, the more “dangerous” it seems, the better. But don’t ask me to go on a kid’s ride like the ferris wheel or I’ll freak. I have never in my 26 years of life ridden on a ferris wheel and I have absolutely no intention of ever changing that. When I was a kid I heard many stories of people getting stuck on the top and being stranded for hours. Me + heights + being stuck at the top of a ferris wheel? No thanks. I never had this fear with roller coasters. I’m not sure why that is. Maybe it’s because they go so fast you can’t even really process what is happening whereas ferris wheels go so slow you can’t help but notice how high up you are.Whatever the case may be, ferris wheels and I are not friends.
5. Pregnancy. I really want to have my own natural-born kids if possible, but I dread having to go through the whole pregnancy thing. It’s like, really really creepy. There is nothing beautiful about giving birth (no offense to anyone out there). You have a baby growing inside you during pregnancy and that’s just beyond creepy. I’m terrified of accidentally killing my unborn child and having a miscarriage. I am so incredibly clumsy and I feel like a fetus is a pretty fragile thing. If I fall or bump into anything I could accidentally kill it and I’d never be able to live with myself if that happened. The fact that a fetus grows on am umbilical cord is the creepiest thing in the world to me. It freaks me out beyond belief. I can’t even explain it. It’s just kind of gross. The fact that some women choose to eat their placenta and/or keep their umbilical cord after giving birth sickens me. And when babies are first born they aren’t at all cute. They are covered in blood and look like gross little aliens until they are cleaned off. It’s sick. Oh and let’s not forget the actual giving birth part. The idea of pushing a baby out creeps me out ungodly. I don’t fear my own death, but I fear screwing this part up really bad and having the baby get stuck or trapped or not being able to do it and again, accidentally killing my baby or giving birth to a stillborn child or something. Pregnancy and childbirth is really intense and scares the living daylights out of me. I’m not at all afraid of being a parent…it’s all the things that come first that creep me out and scare me. I’m pretty sure I probably offended many mothers or expecting mothers with this. If I did I apologize that’s not at all my intention, just voicing an opinion here.
I don’t really have many fears at all, but these were the 5 main ones that first came to mind. Does anyone else share these fears? If not, what (if anything) are you afraid of?