I just finished reading In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man by Michelle McKinney Hammond. This book caught my attention as soon as I spotted on the Used Books bookshelf at the Amazing Grace christian bookstore a week ago. I was really intrigued by the title, In Search of the Proverbs 21 MAN. Proverbs 31 has always been one of my all-time favorite bible passages. It told me everything I ever wanted to know about what kind of woman I should strive to be — a Proverbs 31 woman. But I completely forgot about the fact that behind that great woman, there was a great Proverbs 31 man, too. Also, being single, I am still in search of my Proverbs 31 man, so I decided to purchase the book and see what it said.
Overall I really enjoyed this book. I give it 4 out of 5 stars because I do wish it could’ve went a little more in depth. A couple points were repetitive, redundant, and at times a little generic, but giving it only 3 stars seemed way too harsh because it was a good book that I did learn from. Here are 4 of the main points I learned after reading this book.
1. The connection between men and women. I honestly never really considered this point before. I love how the author, Michelle McKinney Hammond breaks down the connection of men and women. She explains that man is made from God (which I already knew) and that woman is made from the rib of man (which I also already knew). Then she goes a step further and explains that when woman was created, there was a piece taken out of man. That piece is missing. He still needs that piece to survive, which is why he needs woman. This just totally blew my mind. It makes perfect sense and it’s that complicated of an idea, but it was one I never thought of before. The need for a man and a woman to coexist alongside each other isn’t done on a spiritual or emotional level, but it is a physical need and one that goes far beyond just sex.
2. The orders of men and women and why women must submit to their husbands. I never realized there was an order before, I just heard repetitively that woman must submit to their husbands. Now I’ll be honest and say that this is a concept I often struggle with. I am by no means a feminist and I don’t typically support the feminist movement, but I do want general equality between men and women and I don’t want to feel like I’m just letting a man control me and push me around. But that’s not what submission is at all. See, as Hammond explains in her book, women must submit to men because of their order. The order goes like this God – > man -> woman. God always comes first. Because God created man, man must dedicate his life to serving God and striving to be as Christ-like as possible. Woman was created from man. Therefore, it is her order to submit to her husband. This is her priority. It is still her priority to worship and serve God, but the man rules over the woman. The man is closer to God than the woman is because the man is a direct creation from God whereas woman is a direct creation from man. This goes back to point one.
3. What to look for in terms of a future husband. If you’re single like me you should still be thinking in terms of what you should be looking for in a husband. I felt better reading what Hammond has to say about this because I think that’s what I was doing a lot in my last relationship which ultimately helped me to decide to leave my relationship because I didn’t see the future I wanted. If you’re single you should be looking for a Proverbs 31 man to be your husband. It should be a strong man that has a deep love, appreciation, and understanding of God. He should love and cherish you very deeply and passionately and not be afraid to show his love for you. He should offer you security through his job and financial wealth and have the ability to truly support you and care for you. That is his responsibility not just as a man, but as the head of the household which is precisely what a Proverbs 31 man should be according to the order of God.
4. How to prepare myself to become a Proverbs 31 woman. If you’re single like I am, then you shouldn’t just be focusing on searching for a Proverbs 31 man to be your husband, but you should also consider all of the ways you are a Proverbs 31 woman and what areas need more help. For me I could probably bear to be more patient, communicative with my partner (well in this case, future partner) especially during times of trouble, and above all else, I need to learn to submit more to men. I need to learn to let men approach me rather than be the one to approach them. That is not the right order. Men were built like hunters who hunt for their lovers. It is natural for a man to approach a woman. Woman should be waiting for men to approach them and then they should be willing to submit. That is the proper, biblical order. It is also something I tend to be pretty bad at — I tend to wear my feelings on the sleeve and jump at the chance to display love and affection even when it is not returned. I need to work on this and strive to be less like well, me, and more like the godly Proverbs 31 woman.
I really did enjoy reading Michelle McKinney Hammond’s novel, In Search of the Proverbs 31 Man. I think this book will definitely be helpful for me in understanding my responsibilities as a single woman and also what my future role as a wife and a Proverbs 31 woman will be.