I’ve been in a lot of relationships over the past 3 years and dated a few people who never quite turned into relationships. Most of these people have broken up with me and some I have even stayed really good friends with (contrary to popular belief not all breakups are bad. Sometimes it really is for the best). A  lot of times I hear the same thing when I get dumped or someone wants to be “just friends”.

I can’t give you what you’re looking for.

You deserve better.

I think we want different things.

I can’t make you as happy as you should be.

I think this is what’s best for you.

After hearing these things so many times you can’t help but really stop and think — “What DO I want?

And that’s exactly where I am right now.

So I was talking with people the other day. And I  made a list. It might seem like a lot, but it’s small things, personality more than anything. I don’t expect someone to fit into the mold for all of these things. But rather, it’s a general idea of what I am looking for. Here’s my basic list:

  • I want a best friend that ends up being my boyfriend.I need someone I can feel very very comfortable around. Where I can just completely let my guard down at all times. There’s no need to worry or be nervous or to ever feel like I have anything to hide. They’ll love and accept every part of me — good and bad.

 

  • I really want a biblical faith-based relationship where our focus is always on God and doing what God would want us to do. I’m very much pro-courtship. If marriage isn’t a possibility than I don’t see the point. No sex for before marriage. No sexual relationship at all. It’s sinful and we won’t need it — the relationship will be much more than sex.
  • I really want to have fun. I want to feel like a kid again and be made to feel alive. I’d love to have a date where we play with nerf guns, play laser tag, go to chuck e cheese, or something else silly.
  • I love surprises. Take me somewhere fun that you know I’ve never been. Take me on adventures. Show me something new. Expand my mind and my horizons.
  • But at the same time no when to be an adult. Work hard or if you’re in school, study hard.
  • But it’s not just enough to work or study hard.Don’t do it for money or prestige, do it because you love it. Have passion. Be passionate. I’m in love with my job and very passionate about my work and I want to see that same kind of passion in someone else.
  • I think I need to be with an intellectual, especially a reader. My rule is you have to read and love the catcher in the rye. it’s my favorite book and I’m always stunned when people haven’t read it or don’t like it. I want someone to read books and have nerdy literature discussions with.
  • Bonus points if you’re a writer. Triple points if you’re a poet and write me poetry lol.
  • I need someone who is into music. Not to sound cliche but musicians are very sexy, but you don’t have to be one. You just have to love music. Show me your music collection, introduce me to new music I’ve never heard before. Go to shows with me but don’t be a wimp.I want to go to a crazy punk rock show and be front and center stage. trying to avoid a mosh pit and falling beer cans. catch me a drumstick or guitar pick and you’ll be my favorite person ever.
  • I need a gentleman. A real one.Open my car door.pay for our date or at least the first one and some of them). pick me up since I can’t drive and don’t complain about it. Put forward effort.Show me you want it every bit as much as I do. Don’t force me to do something I don’t want to do. Don’t pressure me.Love me and accept me as I am.
  • I want someone I can play sports with. I’m not looking for the next Tom Brady.You don’t have to be good at all. But come shoot hoops with me, take me to a hockey game. Have fun with me.
  • While you have to be a gentleman,you don’t have to be a saint.I don’t want to have to feel like I always have to watch my mouth. I want a strawberry daiquiri and I don’t want to feel weird for wanting it.
  • I want you to make fun of and tease me.Play with me. but don’t be an asshole about it.
  • I want to get married. I want 2 kids and I need a partner I can trust to be on my side through thick and thin and to be one hell of a father. I know that’s not going to happen overnight, but I need to know there’s a future.
  • I need my partner to be patient and understanding. I am deaf.I cannot speak on the phone, but that’s what texting and social media are for, right? I need someone who will at least try to speak loudly and clearly,look at me so I can read their lips, and above all be understanding, not an asshole, and never look down upon me for my hearing impairment or tell me there’s something I can’t do because of it.
  • I need someone who’s not afraid to raise deaf children, or children with any kind of disability, but will rather embrace it and love them all the same.
  • I want a motivator.Someone who motivates and inspires me to be a better person, gives me confidence, and pushes me to succeed. I want someone who will always be my biggest fan.
  • I want someone who’s not into partying.Doesn’t like bars.Doesn’t smoke or do drugs and rarely drinks (just social drinker), and who’s more than happy to join me for a night of netflix and a pint of ben and jerry’s.
  • I want someone who sends me flowers to my work for absolutely no reason at all (and definitely not because we just had a fight lol).
  • More than anything though, I just want to love and be loved in returned.
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