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1. If you’re looking for love, you’ll find it where your passion lies.
Image Credits: BitRebels.com
When I tell people that I met my now-ex boyfriend online they automatically assume we met through a dating website. They think that we were trying to find each other and that maybe it was a forced relationship in a way. It’s 2013, isn’t that the way dating works in this generation? But everything with him was far from typical. I didn’t meet him through an online dating website or anything of the sort. I met him while doing the thing that I am the most passionate about —writing.
So then how did he meet me? Were we writing partners? Hardly. He met me while indulging in some of his own passions — social media, technology, and all things geek. It just so happened that I was writing for a blog that focuses on all of those subjects. He quickly became my biggest fan. Our passions lead us to meet each other and we soon discovered a new, mutual passion that we both shared; a passion for each other.
2. The best relationships start as friends first.
Image Credits: Tumblr.com
Neither of us was looking for a relationship at the time. Quite honestly it was the last thing either one of us wanted. I had recently gotten out of my first serious relationship. It was awful; manipulative and on the border line of abusive. I was terrified of trying again. He wasn’t much different. He had called off his engagement just a year ago and was still working on putting the pieces of his life back in order. We were only looking to connect and combine our interests in social media, technology, and all things geek. Our connection quickly turned into friendship. We would talk every day. It was just small talk at first; a comment on a Facebook post, the sharing of an interesting story. But the longer we knew each other the closer we got. Soon our small talks turned into full blown conversations. We would talk about everything…from our cats, to our families, and even our past relationships that left us so broken. We became each other’s rock, always there when the other needed someone to lean on or a bit of moral support. We freely gave each other love and comfort as any good friend would do, and in time, our friendship met its climax and we fell in love.
3. Patience is a virtue.
This is really true for all relationships, but especially online/long distance ones. In my own online/long distance relationship, we lived 1,000 miles away from each other. Since we met online, talking online seemed to come naturally to us. It can be so easy to get sucked into the internet. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that you both have lives offline, too. They may not be around to talk as much as you’d like. Distance can also make this difficult to accept. You can’t see each other as much as you’d like. My now ex-boyfriend flew down to see me on my birthday. It was our first and only time meeting in real life and it took place about 11 months after our initial online meeting. Meeting in real life was something we talked about often, but we needed the time to be right. We needed to make sure we were emotionally ready to take that next big leap in our relationship and aside from that we needed to choose a time when we’d be free from our responsibilities such as work and school and when we would financially be able to afford it. Long distance relationships can be expensive! In my case it was plane tickets, hotel reservations, and general expenses such as food/necessities and spending money. Visiting each other was certainly not a weekly thing for us. It was hard to wait 11 months to actually see each other, and hard to go on after that initial meeting. We just kept telling ourselves it was all worth it. If you can bring yourself to be patient and wait for each other, when the time comes that you are together, it will just be that much better.
4. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.
Image Credits: WordsOverPixels.com
The internet can bring people together no matter how far apart they may be. Conversations can go on for hours on end and it’s easy to feel as if the person on the other end is right there next to you. That’s the power of the internet — it connects everyone from all over the world together. But life still exists outside of the Internet. You have your life and they have theirs. You have jobs, families, school, and other responsibilities to tend to that at times may be more important than your online relationship.
In an ideal world, everyone would be with the one they love at all times. But realistically speaking, that’s not how things work. You need to have your life and they need to have theirs. Maybe one day you will join forces and your lives will be in sync with each other’s, but that’s probably not how things will be for a while. Let each other be. Take that job, try something new, and be there for your family. Don’t worry so much about what the other one is doing. They can’t be there anyway.
What’s meant to be will be.
5. What’s Meant to Be Will Be
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I prayed for my relationship all the time. I never prayed for us to be together. I never prayed that things would work out, though I wanted that very much. At times I was seriously convinced we would be headed towards marriage and even create families of our own in time. But as a serious Christian, I knew that that may not have been God’s plan for me. So instead I prayed to God to lead me down the right path, to show me what to do.
When my now ex-boyfriend managed to find time and secure funds to visit me for my birthday, I thought that was God’s way of telling me to follow through with him, and it reinforced my previous visions of one day getting married. I was crushed when things ended up falling apart a month after his visit.
But my online, long distance relationship just wasn’t meant to be. But life don’t stop for nobody. He’ll go on his way and I’ll go my own. I’ll write a book, change careers, hang out with my friends, and be there for my family. I’ll take risks and live without fear. I won’t regret a single thing that happened between us. I’ll be happy and I’ll never forget him and all that our relationship taught me.