On Thursday morning I made a big decision that was not easy for me to make, but one that I felt was necessary: I deactivated my Facebook account.

I felt like deactivating my Facebook account was something I had to do. I’m going through some crazy things in life right now and feel a need to disconnect with some people. I have nearly 700 “friends” on Facebook from the three different high schools I attended, my community college, Rowan, and then those random people that I met well, randomly. The thing with Facebook is that it allows you to know SO much about a person. It is also easy to spill your guts into that inviting little box that constantly asks you what’s on your mind. I’m not allowed to discuss some things I’m going through now unless it’s with a handful of specified people. Facebook tempts me, though. On Facebook I just want to literally say everything I’m thinking and feeling…every little thought, every little emotion. But I can’t (or at least shouldn’t) do that now. Doing so could get me in trouble or cause a headache at the least.

Twitter is different. On Twitter you get 140 characters — not much room to spill too much information. You’re connected with people, yes, but it’s a different form of connection. I don’t know the “gossip” of my followers. That stays off of Twitter. On Facebook, it’s like a driving force. And it’s so addicting! You say you don’t like gossip or drama…yet you get addicted to it on Facebook. It’s amusing. Take it away and it’s well, weird.

I have tried to go back on Facebook many times. It’s always the first website I go to when I turn my computer on. Then I’m like “Oh yeah, don’t have that anymore.” I did re-activate it for a few minutes to get a friend’s address that was in a message. When I did this I noticed I still had new notifications and my Twitter was posting to Facebook. In a way it was barely like I left — which was creepy. I have since tried to disable my Twitter postings from Facebook.

I’m beginning to realize how much Facebook controlled my life, and it’s sad. I mean, yes I’m into social media…I’ve worked as a social media coordinator for about 2.5 years in the past, but I feel like I was living my life entirely through Facebook. I knew everything about everyone. Now without Facebook I have no idea what everyone is up to, and you know what? There was really no reason for me to know this information before.

Communicating with others is becoming a slight challenge. Not everyone has Twitter. I’m texting slightly more than before…but I don’t have many numbers. The only way I can think of to get the numbers would be through Facebook. Oops. Maybe I should’ve thought of that before. If I have a question about a writing-arts related assignment I can usually just ask someone on Twitter — no problem. However, English majors have not been required to use Twitter. If I have a question about an English related assignment I have to email the professor or ask someone in person. I don’t have most phone numbers of my classmates and without Facebook, there’s not much of a connection with them, which, ironically was exactly why I didn’t want Facebook anymore.

A benefit of no Facebook is that I can focus on more important matters. I have more time. I’m putting more effort into my schoolwork and I’m not quite as behind as I was before. I have a little more time to sleep. I have more time to live, I think.

I am planning to reactive my account in a month or so, but if I get used to the whole living without Facebook thing, I might just change my mind….